I'm Involved with Whom?
by LeeLee Rob
Summary: After the Stargate program is made public, Jack is shocked to discover the role he plays in the fantasies of others. COMPLETED STORY


I'm Involved With Whom?  
  
1 Author: LeeLee Robinson  
  
2 Email: leeleerobinson@comcast.com  
  
3 Status: Complete  
  
4 Category: Humor, Drabble  
  
Pairings: Jack and everyone!  
  
6 Spoilers: None  
  
7 Season: 7 or later  
  
File Size: 36KB Word  
  
9 Rating: PG  
  
10 Content Warnings: None  
  
11 Summary: After the Stargate program is made public, Jack is shocked to discover the role he plays in the fantasies of others.  
  
12 Disclaimers: All characters are the property of those MGM & Gekko guys et cetera. My original characters and the story are mine.  
  
13 Archive: Gateworld.net, Jackfic.com. Please ask author for permission if you wish to post elsewhere; she'll likely give it.  
  
14 Author's note: Shippers, please take no offense! It's just a point of view.  
  
After the Stargate program was made public, SG-1's privacy came to a screeching halt.  
  
The only one who escaped mostly unscathed was Teal'c. He lived on base and had no personal telephone.  
  
The others had been through dozens of different telephone numbers in the year that passed since some of their activities became public. O'Neill violently destroyed at least five cell phones, throwing them at walls, floors, or concrete. In the end, he got Siler to set up his phone so that it would only accept calls from a handful of people: his team, the General, Dr. Frasier and Sara.  
  
Daniel was rather amused by some of it. HHHeHe'd become somewhat of a poster boy. It was good for his ego. And one day, after a beer or two at his house with Jack, Daniel found he could not resist tormenting his good friend about it all.  
  
"Hey, Jack. You still don't surf the net, do you? There's some pretty incredible stuff out there." Daniel powered up his computer.  
  
"I'll stick with the incredible stuff up there, Daniel," Jack said pointing to the heavens.  
  
"But seriously, Jack. There are all these websites that people have devoted to speculating on our missions and our personal lives." Daniel clicked on to a site stored under "Favorites".  
  
"They should get their own lives," Jack said not giving a damn.  
  
"Yeah, but some of it is really funny Jack."  
  
"To whom, Daniel?"  
  
"Well, for instance, on this one site you've rescued Sam from bad ass knights in armor dozens of times. And you probably have no idea how many times you've retired so that you can marry Sam and stay home and take care of perfect looking little Teutonic babies."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You heard me. You and Sam. There was that Za'tarc thing, after all."  
  
"Daniel, those armband things from the Tok'ra. Can you say raging testosterone?"  
  
"Yeah, but I kind of wondered myself sometimes if you didn't have a bit of a crush on her."  
  
"I recognize a thing of beauty when I see it Daniel. It doesn't mean I don't know my limits."  
  
"So you were tempted?"  
  
"No, Daniel. The no frat rules are there for a good reason."  
  
"I know. It's a little scary to me that so many people out there don't get it. That young girls are fantasizing about their bosses giving up everything for them. They are heading for an ugly fall if they believe things play out that way."  
  
"Why Daniel, you mean you can't see me wearing an apron waiting for Sam to come home speaking techno babble, while I recount carpool and supermarket runs? Do I bake doughnuts from scratch too?"  
  
"No, but you're definitely living vicariously through her."  
  
"Geez Louise. Did I really need to know this Daniel?"  
  
"Actually, it gets even weirder, Jack. You and I apparently make quite a pair."  
  
"Of what?" Jack eyes darted from side to side, looking confused.  
  
"You know. A couple. There's a whole genre called slash devoted to describing how I fill you up."  
  
"For crying out loud, am I a freakin' Chevrolet?"  
  
"Apparently you have a whole softer side that I'm still waiting to see for myself!"  
  
"And you can wait till hell freezes over." Jack popped open another beer, shaking his head at the prospect.  
  
After a brief apparently thoughtful pause, Jack asked: "What about me and Teal'c? I've always liked the strong, silent type."  
  
"A little, but not much. Poor guy gets left out of most of the action."  
  
"If they only knew the truth. He's had way more action than me in the past seven years. How about Hammond?"  
  
"That's an image I could do without Jack."  
  
"How about me and the Asguard? Everyone knows I've got a soft spot for the little gray guys."  
  
"Not so far. Besides they're asexual, Jack."  
  
"Yeah, but what's reality go to do with it. And it's not exactly like I have much of an outside life. Maybe I should start wearing monk's robes?"  
  
"Well, it would be more like the real you. But I don't think it will change anyone's fantasies, Jack."  
  
"Good thing we've got more important things to do, isn't it, Daniel?"  
  
"Retirement off world is starting to look a little more appealing, isn't it, Jack?"  
  
"Hey Daniel, fill me up."  
  
"Excuse me, Jack?" Daniel was wide-eyed.  
  
"Order the goddamned pizza already or I'm gonna kick your sorry butt to the moon, Daniel," Jack cracked up and pulled the computer's plug out of the wall.  
  
Daniel smiled and picked up the telephone.  
  
"You know Jack, you were a little fast pulling the plug. There's one whole other genre you really might have enjoyed seeing. Danny whumping. Where I get the crap beat out of me yet always survive."  
  
"If you keep talking about this crap and don't order the pizza, we may have some real life Danny whumping soon."  
  
"Hey, you get equal time. There's a lot of Jack whumping out there too. And you're very stoic about it all, too. You always nearly bleed to death without complaining."  
  
"Well, at least they got that right."  
  
"And pigs can fly, Jack."  
  
"Apparently, on the internet they can Daniel. Now dial."  
  
The end. Please no hate mail from shippers! Have a sense of humor. 


End file.
